With my Sweetheart five hours away and no way to be there permanently at the moment I'm lonely and often have trouble with anger and impatience. I look to God for a little bit and then something tells me that I'm not worthy to come to God with my problems, and he doesn't care. Although I know I am indeed unworthy of God, I know he cares and Loves me deeply, but for some reason or another I often listen to this destructive voice. And continue my life disregarding God, and being impatient with him and anyone else. I've been having trouble with WANTING. I WANT to be there with my sweetheart, I Want to goto College, I Want friends. But with Want comes impatience and anger.
I feel God all the time, and I feel the desire for him growing in my heat and soul everyday. And sometimes I fuel that hunger but other times I allow my spirit to starve only making things harder for myself. Why do I do that? I know I need an outlet, so I try different things like listening to music, or driving around, or spending time with others. But things end in fights, my car gets problems, the radio broke. God want me to listen. So here I am.
I'm listening God.
What would you have me do?
Sometimes he tells me to keep singing.
Other times he tells me to sty with him longer.
And I get impatient because hes not making things happen for me.
But why? Isn't it enough that the most high God want to spend time with me?
That This creator and Ruler of the Universe holds me in his hands, no matter my sin, no matter my problems, or my faults, he Loves me! He Cares for Me! Isn't that MORE than enough?
I need prayer. I need fellowship. I need to tell my story. I need to be heard. I need to sing again.
Praise the God of Second chances!
Hey. I'm not a psychologist but here's some advice. The one thing I think you should always remember is that EVERYONE deals with loneliness and/or depression sometime in life and there's always a way out. I used to be really moody before I knew Christ and I've found that as long as you keep yourself busy you don't give yourself much time to let things bring you down for long periods of time. Getting involved in your community or directly helping the poor is always a great way for you to realize how blessed we really are. Click this link http://pastorsquires.blogspot.com/2005/08/1-kings-199-18psalm-28-what-are-you.html for a blogged sermon that speaks about the story of Elijah and how he tried to run away from his hardships and from God. The message will help.
ReplyDeleteAs for leaving the faith for a bit, no christian is perfect, and don't you dare try to be. But we must always strive to love God and love people. God's willing to wait. :)